Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
