considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My dad is sitting where you rode me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
