I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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