He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
