Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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