ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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