Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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