Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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