Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
