PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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