I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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