Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
