I need help removing her.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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