Non-Jews are for practice
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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