careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
