the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
