sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
