Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
