I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Come share oat with me in your robe
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
