so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
