I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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