did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
