guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
