If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
