accomplished twins. life is a go
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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