Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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