So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
