it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
