I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
