Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
