I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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