I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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