You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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