Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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