I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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