just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she smelled like a LAN party
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
