nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
