Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
