he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
