remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
