Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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