I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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