her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
