Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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