made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Someone came in the potted fern
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
