i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
