She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
