just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
