tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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