Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
